Don’t forget to put salve on the wound

by Keen Opas

I’ve often been called a misogynist, though surprisingly, rarely in person. The Mentu who sits behind this laptop and fires off post after post about the ills of feminism is different than the man you’ll meet out on the street. Same mind, same principles, same philosophy; but a much more subtle execution.

I’m writing this post because over the past few weeks, I’ve heard more than a handful of men at work and in my social circle openly and angrily criticize women, marriage, and even dating. Though I agree with what they said for the most part, I would caution them to watch their delivery. Gentlemen, we have bills to pay and women to slay, and a good dose of manospherian speak does nothing to further the cause of either. Calling a bitch a bitch will not change the world, but it might get you fired or lead you to long nights filled with cold pizza and internet porn.

I'd say 90% of women under the age of 40 are only good for one thing, so by god, let's maximize our access to that one good thing.

I’m not suggesting that men should try to White Knight their way into a girl’s panties, because that doesn’t work either. Simply take out your Alpha knife, smile, slit the hamster’s throat, put salve on the wound, and then bang it senseless. Too often, men consumed with beta rage will attempt to “teach a woman a lesson” by flying off the handle like a verbal assassin trying to take down the mother ship. Allow me to suggest an alternative that allows you to keep your balls, but still rest them on her chin.

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Mentu’s First Law of Dickatry: You can’t tell a woman anything, but you sure as hell can make her feel it.

Telling a woman at a bar who’s been complaining about men that you won’t put up with man-jawed feminazis does nothing but ensure that she won’t put out. Instead, smile at the woman who just delivered the squalid hamster turd and say “you make terrible choices in men, don’t you.”

Notice there’s no question mark at the end of that statement.

After her head explodes, she’ll come right back with some sort of “NO! I’m a good person who…” to which you should respond “Oh, ok. I must have misunderstood your comment. I thought you were saying you have a hard time attracting good men. It thought it was odd, because you seem like a real catch.”

It’s ok to cut deep, as long as you put salve on the wound when you’re done. At this level, it goes far beyond the push-pull game theory or basic shit tests, because the topics are so serious and quickly internalized by women. The example above landed me a 29 year old attorney. She was a first-rate four-door gold-plated bitch, but I really didn't notice after she took her clothes off.

I've made a few "salve" comments to women over the years that would probably lead you to stop reading this blog or make you think I had lost my mind. But I've found that a little hamster food serves my purpose well, and that hamster food consists of nothing more than cutting them deep (because I'm a man) then putting salve on the wound (because I'm a man who is rather fond of getting laid). In a way, I'm simply wrapping truth in feminist fecal matter and feeding it right back to them. It's not pretty, but it sure as hell is effective.

Here are few more real-life examples where putting salve on the wound ended up putting a bitch on my nuts:

Example 1:

Girl: “Men get all hung up on a woman’s ex boyfriends. I’m like, hello! I’m dating you now!”

Me: “No man with an ounce of pride wants to date a whore. But yeah, some men are insecure. I’m more interested in knowing where we’re going together than where she’s been with someone else.”

Example 2:

Girl: “That guy is living in the 1800’s or something.”

Me: “This country needs more old-fashioned men with a backbone who aren’t afraid to call it like they see it. I know some men can be a little over the top though, but with any luck, women won’t breed with them and we’ll be able to eradicate them from the gene pool.”

Example 3:

Girl: “I think he just doesn’t like having a strong woman on his team who isn’t afraid to speak up at meetings.”

Me: “Good men are prepared to engage when challenged, so perhaps he’s validating your contribution by taking you to task. I wouldn’t confuse that with a lack of respect for your opinion. I find a woman’s perspective to be interesting at times, because women are far less likely to be bound by the bottom line or the end result.”

[Note: I’ve never once known a woman to pick up on what a back-handed bitchslap that statement really is.]

Example 4:

Girl: “If women ruled the world, it would be a better place.”

Me: “Yep, especially if they attempted to conquer it by starting in the kitchen. I’m just kidding! The world probably would be better off with a more feminine perspective, and I support that, as long as somebody somewhere makes me sandwich.”

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Now I realize this post won’t speak to everyone, because some men find more pleasure in scorched earth than they do in bountiful bosoms majesty and amber waves of pussy. If that’s the case, more power to you; you have my full support.

But to those who prefer the thrill of having some empowered feminist bent over their couch screaming their name while the man she’ll eventually marry stands quietly aside waiting his turn, I advise you to tone down the rhetoric just a bit. Never drop your masculine frame, and never let a woman get away with bullshit.

Just don’t forget to put salve on the wound.